I used to have a great life. My little world was bright. I had no complaints. My perfectly simple life made the fall from grace that much more devastating. I plummeted from the heavenly little bubble that I shared with Jake. I fell fast and hard straight into the fiery pits of hell. The knowledge of how things used to be is a bittersweet torture that refuses me even one moment of respite. I live in a painful reverie that I can’t escape. I had it good once. That’s gone now. All of it disappeared like vapor into the ether. I’m a lost woman wandering through grief and struggling to come to terms with my new title: widow. My family says I need understanding and closure. I say a cigarette and a bottle of wine is a much better option for instant gratification. I’m the awkward depressed one standing in the corner making everyone around me miserably uncomfortable. I’m the one with vacant eyes that society strives to help but can’t. I’m the one who hands out tight smiles and derisive snorts. I’m the widow adrift in this world with no direction. No meaning. No hope. No vital sign. *** Sadie sets out on a journey to healing without knowing that things will get far worse before they get better. Despite her general indifference to organ donation she finds herself on a journey to seek out the only people who benefited from her husband’s tragic death. Resentment runs rampant as she meets the thriving organ recipients. Anger and jealousy spiral sending the delicate structure of Sadie’s emotions into a tailspin. Alexander McBride got a second chance—one that he didn’t necessarily want. Alexander is a game changer for Sadie. She hates him for his health but can’t help feeling at home in his presence. He soothes her grief in a way that is intoxicating addictive even. The heart that once fell in love with her now resides in Alexander McBride’s chest. It’s a circumstance that forces her to wage an internal war fueled by grief anger guilt love lust and loyalty. Sadie must discover the things that are vital to going on with her life if she has any hope of finding her way through the all-consuming grief that dominates every waking moment.
